overeating – Lefkoe Eating Report

Emotional Eating Can Manifest in Different Ways

The single best book I’ve read for understanding all aspects of emotional eating is Geneen Roth’s best-seller, Women, Food and God.

Here are two approaches to emotional eating as she describes them:

… there are two kinds of compulsive eaters: Restrictors and Permitters.

Restrictors believe in control. Of themselves, their food intake, their environment. And whenever possible, they’d also like to control the entire world. Restrictors operate on the conviction that chaos is imminent and steps need to be taken now to minimize its impact.

For a Restrictor, deprivation is comforting because it provides a sense of control. If I limit my food intake, I limit my body size. If I limit my body size, I (believe I can) limit my suffering. If I limit my suffering, I can control my life. I make sure bad things don’t happen. That chaos stays away. …

Permitters find any kind of rules abhorrent. If they’ve ever lost weight on a diet, it was through wrenching, abject misery. They are suspicious of programs, guidelines, eating charts.

Permitters say, “I’ve gained fifty pounds in the last six months and I just can’t understand what happened.” Whereas a Restrictor operates with hypervigilence, with their antenna in constant motion like those of a sea anemone, Permitters prefer going though life in a daze. They way, they don’t need to feel pain—theirs or anyone else’s. If I’m not aware of it, there’s nothing to fix. If I go through life asleep, I don’t need to be concerned about the future because I won’t be aware of it. If I give up trying, I won’t be disappointed when I fail.

Like Restricters, Permitters operate on the need to be safe in what they consider hostile or dangerous situations. But unlike Restrictors, who try to manage the chaos, Permitters merge with it. They see no point in trying to control the uncontrollable and have decided it’s best to be blurry and numb and join the party. Have a good time. …

Restricting and permitting are subtypes of compulsive eating, which is the metadefense. A compulsion is a way to protect ourselves from feeling what we believe is unfeelable, what we are convinced is intolerable. It is a compulsion because we are compelled to engage in it. Because in the moment we are acting it out, we believe we have no choice. …

A few last words about labels. Everyone is both Permitter and Restrictor. A Restrictor turns into a Permitter the moment she binges. A Permitter becomes a Restrictor every time she decides she is going to follow a program, even if that resolution lasts two hours.

Both these types of emotional eaters feel compelled to eat and the compulsion is caused primarily by conditioning and to some extent by beliefs, as I explain in my eBook, The Secret to Ending Overeating for Good. http://emotionaleatingreport.com. For example, you will feel compelled to eat whenever you experience one of your specific triggers, such as loneliness, boredom, feeling unlovable, feeling anxiety, etc.

But it is possible for Restrictors and Permitters to de-condition their conditionings and eliminate their negative beliefs, reaching a peaceful state where their emotional eating is nothing more than a distant memory instead of a constant cycle of pain.

Weight Problems Are NOT Inherited

According to a recent article in The News & Observer (Raleigh-Durham, NC) that was reprinted by the Life Extension Institute, research is now showing that much emotional eating is due to our genes.

“Rich foods work much like heroin on the brain, making it hard to stop eating them. A recent study indicates a genetic link between overeating and drug addiction, explaining why obese people have such intense cravings and build up such tolerance. …

“A team of scientists that included UNC-Chapel Hill researchers reported in 2009 that they had found a gene, NRXN3, associated with obesity in some people. The same gene previously was identified as playing a role in substance abuse.

“Keri Monda, an epidemiologist at the UNC Gillings School of Global Public Health and one of the study’s authors, said the finding draws a strong inherited link between overeating and drug addiction, problems characterized by difficulties limiting enjoyable experiences.

“‘We do know there are common underpinnings,’ Monda said, adding that additional studies are needed to make a definitive association.”

The problem with “evidence” showing that psychological problems really are biological/physiological problems is that the psychological problems go away when the psychological aspects are resolved.

Depression is not a brain problem

Several years ago Time reported a study that used magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) to detect distinct changes in the brains of chronically depressed people compared to the brains of non-depressed people. This was interpreted to mean that the cause of the depression was the changes in the brain. The article went on to report that after a few months of cognitive-behavioral therapy, the patients reported their depression was gone. At which time the MRI showed a “normal” brain.

In other words, the different brain state was not a cause of the depression, it was the result of the depression.

Genes do not cause overeating

Similarly, there might be genes that predispose one to eat sweets or to continue to eat when one is not hungry, but my personal evidence that genes are not the cause of emotional eating and being overweight is that when people eliminate all the conditionings and beliefs that appear to be the source of the eating problem, overeating stops. Without any changes in the genes.

Dr. Bruce Lipton is a former medical school professor and research scientist. His experiments, and that of other leading edge scientists, have examined in great detail the processes by which cells receive information. The implications of this research radically change our understanding of life. It shows that genes and DNA do not control our biology; that instead DNA is controlled by signals from outside the cell, including the energetic messages emanating from our positive and negative thoughts. (See his book, The Biology of Belief.)

In other words, our genes and DNA only contribute a “potential” that must be activated by our interactions with reality and by our beliefs. If the outside environment (the source of our belief and conditionings) does not activate a gene, it has no impact on us at all.

As many biologists have said, “Genes load the gun, but environment pulls the trigger.”

That being the case, don’t worry about whether or not you have the wrong genes or brain structure. If you have an emotional eating problem, get rid of the conditionings and beliefs that really cause it and the overeating will stop— regardless of your genes and brain structure.

For more details, please see my eBook, The Secret to Ending Overeating For Good, at http://emotionaleatingreport.com. You also can get answers to specific questions at my office, 415-884-0552.

Most Overeating Is Emotional Eating

Although the term “emotional eating” is still not in common usage, more and more people are realizing that overeating is almost always the result of eating for emotional reasons, as distinct from eating when hungry.

If you ask Google to notify you about every blog post or article published on the Internet on “emotional eating,” you will discover there are several everyday.

One such recent blog post had some excellent material on how to know if you are eating emotionally. I’d like to quote some excerpts from that post here and provide you with a link so you can read the rest of the post.

“Emotional eating can be said to occur when we eat to satisfy a desire other than physical hunger. Emotional eating usually takes place when a person is depressed or angry, stressed or vulnerable. It can be triggered in response to some distressing news, an argument with a loved one or simply boredom. There are any numbers of reasons that can send us heading straight for the cookie jar.

“You may go to a movie and although it is only an hour or so since you ate a meal you sit and eat a large carton of popcorn, then a coke or perhaps an ice cream. Perhaps you do the same sort of thing most evenings at home in front of the TV, just steadily munching away at various foods although you are not really hungry at all.

How do I know when I am emotionally eating?

“You can tell emotional hunger because it usually comes on very quickly whereas physical hunger will build up gradually.

“Emotional hunger needs to be immediately satisfied and with whatever food you are craving, physical hunger will wait.

“Emotional hunger usually brings with it a desire for certain foods. You may have a burning desire to eat chocolate or cakes or ice cream, maybe only pizza will satisfy your craving. With physical hunger you are more adaptable with what you eat.

“You may not be able to stop overeating. The emotion that has caused you to begin eating may not be satisfied and you are unable to stop eating junk food.

“After emotional eating it is likely that there will be feelings of guilt, this does not occur with physical hunger.”

You can find the full post at http://www.howcanistopeating.com/eating-disorders-–-stop-emotional-eating.

Unfortunately, despite the useful information about emotional eating, this post—like most other articles and books written on the subject—does not provide a workable solution. I am convinced based on my experience with a number of clients who had this problem, that emotional eating is the result of two distinct processes:

First, eating has been conditioned to occur whenever certain triggers or the desire for specific rewards are present and,

Second, beliefs that have been formed about eating, food, and weight.

When you eliminate all the conditionings and beliefs, emotional eating will stop.

For more details, please see my eBook, The Secret to Ending Your Overeating For Good, at http://emotionaleatingreport.com.

How Our Parents Can Unwittingly Cause Emotional Eating Problems

Most overeating is the result of emotional eating. And a significant cause of all emotional eating is conditioning. In other words, eating becomes a conditioned response to a number of triggers, such as loneliness, anxiety, depression, and feeling unlovable. When those triggers appear in your life, you are conditioned to want to eat.

In addition, however, another important cause of overeating is beliefs, most of which were formed in childhood as a result of interactions with parents.

Here are just a few of the common things parents say and do that lead to beliefs that, in turn, lead to emotional eating.

“Finish everything on your plate (whether you are hungry or not).”

“It’s time to eat (whether you are hungry or not).”

“Don’t eat that or you’ll gain weight.”

“Good” foods and ”bad” foods.

“If you gain weight you won’t have any friends.”

“Shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” around food and eating.

Parents who are often on diets or who have an eating problem.

Which of these situations were present in your household?

Here are just a few of the possible beliefs that can result from this type of parental behavior and comment.

If I don’t control my eating I’ll put on weight.

The way to stay thin is to control my food and exercise a lot.
If I’m heavy I’ll be rejected.
I can’t trust my body (to tell me when to eat or stop eating).
I can’t trust myself to know how much to eat and when to eat.
The only way to know what and when to eat is to keep things the same.
If I look fat I’ll be rejected.
If I gain a few pounds it means I’m out of control.
My body is revolting. (One woman with this belief is 5’9” and weighs 110 pounds)
I need to exercise to deserve food.
I’m not deserving.
I have to be deserving to eat.
I’m a fake.
Sense of self: big, chunky, uncoordinated.

If I can’t eat “bad” foods, I’m missing out.

Bad” foods make you fat.

To lose weight you can’t eat anything “bad.”

The way to keep food from running my life (like it did my mom’s) is to eat whatever I want to eat.

If I don’t eat when there’s food around there won’t be any later.

The way to be in control is to eat what I want, when I want.

The way to keep from being hungry is to have a lot of food in the house.

Which of these beliefs did you form?

It is possible to permanently stop emotional eating by de-conditioning eating as the response to triggers and the desire for certain rewards, and by eliminating all the relevant beliefs.

For more details, please see my eBook, The Secret to Ending Your Overeating For Good, at http://emotionaleatingreport.com.

Why Do People Gain All Their Weight Back After A Diet?

It isn’t that difficult to lose weight on a diet. There are many diets that will produce a weight loss if followed rigorously. The problem, as people with an emotional eating problem know all too well, is that when you stop dieting, the weight usually comes back even faster than it left.

Why? When you stop a diet—which is eating food you normally wouldn’t eat, in quantities you normally wouldn’t eat—you start eating the way you had before the diet.

But there is another very important reason for gaining all the weight back.

Many people who obsess about their weight believe that if only they could weigh what they wanted (which is much less than they currently weigh), their life would be perfect. In other words, they attribute most of what doesn’t work in their life to their excess weight.

After people get down to the weight they thought would make them happy and it doesn’t, they would have to acknowledge that weight was not the real cause of their unhappiness, because they are still unhappy despite being at their “target” weight. For some people, it is too difficult to acknowledge this. So they gain back all the weight they lost so they can continue to blame their unhappiness on the number of pounds they weigh.

For such people, it is important to deal with the emotional aspects of their eating problem before they lose weight. If they can take responsibility for what isn’t working in their lives and do something about it, they will be able to lose weight and not need to gain it all back.

For more details on emotional eating, please see my eBook, The Secret to Ending Your Overeating For Good, at http://emotionaleatingreport.com.

Unconsciousness Is What’s Important, Not The Food

Most people who overeat claim that they eat because “it just tastes good.” But food tastes good to everyone, not just people with an emotional eating problem. So that can’t really be the reason.

Geneen Roth, in her best-selling book, Women, Food and God, perceptively points out the real underlying issue in all cases of overeating.

“The bottom line, whether you weigh 340 pounds or 150 pounds, is that when you eat when you are not hungry, you are using food as a drug, grappling with boredom or illness or loss or grief or emptiness or loneliness or rejection. Food is only the middleman, the means to the end. Of altering your emotions. Or making yourself numb. Of creating a secondary problem when the original problem becomes too uncomfortable. Of dying slowly rather than coming to terms with your messy, magnificent and very, very short—even at a hundred years old—life. The means to these ends happens to be food, but it could be alcohol, it could be work, it could be sex, it could be cocaine. Surfing the Internet. Talking on the phone.

“For a variety of reasons we don’t fully understand (genetics, temperament, environment), those of us who are compulsive eaters choose food. Not because of its taste. Not because of its texture or its color. We want quantity, volume, bulk. We need it—a lot of it—to go unconscious. To wipe out what’s going on. The unconsciousness is what’s important, not the food.”